The Amazing Love Is On Fire
by makingyouhowell
Summary: Dan is hiding phanfiction under his bed and Phil finds it. A relationship blossoms and secrets come out. Will they be able to handle ALL of the truth?
1. An Early Arrival

Phil is looking around everywhere and can't seem to see his lion anywhere. Dan is on holiday, expected to return tomorrow, so Phil pushes open his door and steps into his best mate's room.

He knew he shouldn't be snooping, but he just wanted his little lion.

He lifts up the edge of Dan's comforter and sees it under the bed. "How'd you get under here?" He reaches for it and pulls it out, pulling a notebook out with it. He looks around as if Dan might jump out and yell at him for invading his space. No one. He opens the cover and gasps, dropping the notebook to the ground immediately.

Lies in front of him is a drawing. A drawing of himself and Dan, lying on his bed. Naked. Phil's hand running up and down Dan's length.

He knows it's of Dan's doing. The strokes of the pencil, the smears of lead across the page, a work of Dan's left handedness. And the writing. "I love you, Phil." Drawing Dan is saying.

Phil doesn't know what to think. He has hid his feeling for Dan deep deep down inside for so long-

His thought is cut off by the sound of keys in the door. Dan. Phil, panic stricken, grabs the notebook and the lion, brings down the comforter and bolts out of Dan's room, closing the door behind him. He rushes to his room as Dan opens the door to the flat. "Phil, I'm home." Dan calls out.

Phil pushes the lion and notebook under his pillow and steps into the hall as if nothing happened, his heart pounding in his chest. "H-Hi Dan! I wasn't expecting you till tomorrow."

"My trip got cut a little short, is all." Dan gives him a strange look. "Are you okay Phil? You look a little...flustered..." Phil shakes his head.

"No, no. I just...was startled is all.." Not a complete lie. Phil blushes slightly and moves to give Dan a hug.

Phil wonders how this beautiful man, whom he's been in love with for as long as he could remember, could even love him back. And why has he hid it all these years?


	2. Going In Deep

Later that night, as Phil closes his door, retreating to his bed, he lifts up his pillow, finding the notebook and lion where he left them. He sets the lion on his dresser and opens up the notebook slowly, sitting on his bed. The drawing he saw earlier stares back at him. Does he dare turn the page?

He decides he does, bracing himself for another drawing, but instead, finding words. Lots and lots of words. He turns the pages throughout the notebook, only finding more and more words. He reads all of them. All the phanfiction, all the smut. _Damn,_ is the only thing he can say to any of it. As he reads, he feels a tightness grow in his pants. He falls deep into Dan's words, as if in a trance.

So deep, in fact, that he doesn't hear the soft knock on his door. That he doesn't notice Dan push open the door and walk in. He doesn't realize that he's there until Dan clears his throat He yelps in surprise, flinging the notebook towards Dan. The notebook falls at Dan's feet. It's as if time stops as Dan looks down and sees the one thing he has never wanted Phil to see. He gasps.

" ** _Phil?!_** " Dan says.

"D-Dan it's...it's not-I didn't mean to..." Phil stutters, unable to find the right words to say to Dan. His face turns a dark red and he gives up trying to find the words, looking down.

"Why did you go under my bed?!" Dan yells at Phil, a wave of anger flows over him.

"Why did you hide this from me?" Phil feels the same wave of anger go over him, as if they're both in an ocean of rage. "How come you've hid this from me for so long when I had to fucking hide my emotions for you and the fact I'm in _love_ with you because I thought you didn't feel like that?!" Phil is standing in front of Dan now, anger burning in his eyes.

Dan stands speechless, not sure if he heard what he thought he hears. His silence enrages Phil further, making him push Dan against the wall. "How could you hide this and make me feel like you wanted nothing to do with me like that?!"

Dan stutters. "I-I don't understand..d-did y-you just say you _l-loved_ me?" He can't but find Phil's dominance and he feels his jeans tighten. Phil's eyes soften slightly.

"Of course I do you twat...how could I not?" Dan's breathing stops, Phil glances down and sees Dan's pants tightening. A playful smirk on his lips, Phil leans into Dan slowly then stops, centimeters away from Dan's face.

Dan sucks in a sharp breath. Phil licks his lips before he speaks. "Why," he puts Dan's wrists in one hand above his head against the wall. "Did you," he trails a finger down Dan's chest and abdomen. "Hide it?" He squeezes Dan's hard cock through his tight pants. Dan groans in pleasure. Phil squeezes harder. Dan's head rolls back against the wall. "Answer me." Phil demands.

"Because...I didn't-I didn't think you...loved me back." Dan says quietly. Phil releases his grip on Dan and suddenly kisses him.

The kiss burns with a passionate fire. Phil releases his grip on Dan's wrists, and slides his hands into his hair, messing it up. Dan slides his hands to Phil's waist, pulling him closer to himself. Phil pulls away slowly, staring deep into Dan's eyes. Dan decides to say the words he's wanted to say to Phil for so long. "Philip Micheal Lester, I love you."

Phil's smiles, tears pricking his eyes. "Daniel James Howell, I love you too."


	3. Video Editing

The next few days changed a lot. Dan and Phil couldn't keep their hands off each other. Even just little touches anyone else would dismiss, but to them, a spark with every brush of the hand, every time their skin made contact, it ignited the fir of love and passion between them. When they made a video, their legs would always brush against each other's out of the view of the camera and the phandom.

As they were finishing editing another video, Phil pulled Dan out of his chair, knowing he would stay there all night if he could. He took Dan's hand. "But Phil-" Dan started to whine.

"No Dan." Phil interrupts. He leads Dan to his bed. Dan quiets, obeying his dom. They haven't done anything but groping, really. But seeing Dan so focused, away from the world, made Phil so happy because he was doing what he loves to do most. It made Phil fall deeper in love with him.

He pushes Dan onto the bed slowly, then straddles him. Dan bites his lip. Phil loves it when he does that. He feels the tightness in his pants grow and then kisses Dan passionately. Phil slips his hands under Dan's shirt, sliding it up slowly. Dan shivers from Phil's touch.

The kiss becomes more hungry, their tongues sliding against each other's. Phil slides Dan's shirt off, breaking off the kiss. Their breathing ragged, they gaze into each other's eyes. "I love you, Phil." Dan whispers.

"I love you too, Dan." Phil takes off his own shirt, revealing his pale skin. He gives Dan a quick kiss before sliding down and unbuckling his belt, then unbuttoning his pants. He slides them off Dan slowly, tossing them to the floor. He does the same to his boxers. He bites his lip hard at the sight in front of him.

Phil stands up and takes off his own pants and boxers, then gets back on the bed. He crawls up slowly, looking at into Dan's eyes. Dan bites his lip again. Phil takes Dan's hard cock in his hand and moves up and down it slowly. Dan groans softly and Phil takes away his hand before licking the side of Dan's length slowly from the base to tip before taking it in his mouth.

Dan gasps and his fists ball up as Phil takes in all of him in his hot, wet mouth. His tongue swirls around Dan's tip. "Ohh...Philll."Dan moans.

Phil starts bobbing his head on Dan's length, as Dan slides his hand into Phil's hair and pulls softly. Dan can feel himself getting close, fast, Phil's mouth all around him. Phil is rubbing his own length, getting closer with Dan's moans. "Ph-Phil..I-I'm so close- oh fuck PHIL!" Dan yelps out and comes down Phil's throat. Phil is now frantically jerking, Dan's moans pushing him over the edge, and he releases, coming on his own stomach.

He pulls off of Dan, their breathing ragged, unable to form words. He crawls up to lay beside Dan, wrapping his arm around Dan's waist. They fall asleep very quickly, wrapped in the arms of the one they love more than anything in the universe.


	4. Our Dreams

"No Dan!" Phil raises his voice.

"But Phil-" Dan starts, softly.

"I said no." Phil turns away. He hates yelling at Dan, it hurts him. Dan grabs his arm and pulls him back to face him.

"Phil, stop and listen, please." Phil sighs and crosses his arms, letting Dan talk. "Look, it wouldn't hurt to do it, it'd even give us more subscribers. I know that that doesn't matter really. But I mean, then we won't have to hide, and imagine how our phans would feel, they'd support us all the way, and those who hate, let them. It'll make us stronger."

"Dan, no. Don't you see all we would be is the gay YouTubers, nothing else. Some of our phans _don't_ want us together." Phil shakes his head.

"Phil please, I don't want to hide anymore I want to shout my love for you to everyone. I was to send out tweets with pictures of us together saying that I love you. I want to kiss you in front of everyone. Please, Phil." Dan is on the verge of tears.

Phil sighs. He wants to give Dan everything he wants, but _this_? This seems too much. He has come to crossroads and he doesn't know what to do. So much of him agrees with Dan, but he's scared. His past was too much.

Memories flash in Phil's mind and he feels nauseous. He runs into the bathroom away from Dan and pukes in the toilet. Dan runs in to see what's wrong. "Oh shit, Phil, are you okay?" He kneels down next to his boyfriend. Phil has tears streaking his face. "Oh Philly, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to upset you like this.." Dan feels tears choking him but he forces them away. Phil just shakes his head.

"Its not...not you, Kitten." Phil wipes his mouth and then flushes the toilet. He pushes Dan out of the bathroom, assuring him that things are okay. He cleans himself up a little before turning on the hot water to take a shower.

Later that day, everything was forgotten, the idea of showing the world their love, the fighting, everything. They lay on their couch in each other's arms that night. Dan was lying on top of Phil with Phil's arms around Dan and Dan's under Phil's back. They were watching a movie, close to falling asleep.

Phil slips into the dream world quickly, in Dan's arms. He usually dreams about Dan, them going to America for TATINOF, going to Japan again, but not this time. This was a nightmare.

Phil's on his knees pleading for Dan to stay, crying, stuttering. "P-please, Dan! Don't l-leave m-me!" Dan turns around, his hand on the doorknob, his eyes are dead. Lifeless. His voice is low and soft, barely there.

"I can't believe you wouldn't ever tell me this. I thought all of our secrets were in the open, especially since we are-" he stops himself. " _were_ together." He turns the knob and steps out of the flat, his suitcase in hand, closing the door behind him. Phil cries harder, repeating the same words over and over quietly, rocking back and forth on his knees.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.." then darkness closes in.

Phil wakes up with tears streaming down his face while Dan lays sleeping on top of him. His grip on him tightens, pulling him as close to him as possible. _He's still here,_ he thinks to himself. One last thought slips through his mind before he slips back into sleep, soft and quiet.

 _Not for long._


	5. Night, Kitten

Dan sits in his room alone. This has became his usual spot in the flat. Alone. Phil has been pushing him away so much, and he doesn't understand why. He knows Phil has a secret. The dark part of his mind whispers. _He doesn't trust you. He doesn't love you. He's going to leave you._

 _Shut up!_ Dan yells at himself in his head. The bad thoughts have been swarming for days. _What's so bad that Phil has to push me away like this?_ He thinks to himself. He hears Phil in the next room.

 _Is that sobbing I hear?_ Dan gets up and opens his door slowly and steps out into the hall. He hears Phil sobbing in the next room. He knocks on Phil's door. "Phil?"

No reply. Dan slowly pushes open Phil's door, revealing a sobbing Phil curled up on his bed. "Phil? Are you okay?"

Phil jumps a little and sniffles, trying to stop the tears. "Go away." he mumbles, not turning to look at Dan. Dan shakes his head and steps closer to the bed.

"No, sorry. Afraid that's the one thing I won't do for you." Dan sits on the end, close to Phil. He hears Phil chuckle slightly. "What's so funny?" Dan asks.

"Even eat a dog?" Phil's voice is strained, but Dan can hear some of the happy Philly he loves. Dan giggles and shoves Phil playfully.

"You know what I mean, Phil." Dan pulls Phil to sit up and face him, before wiping away his tears with his thumb. "Phil, please tell me what's wrong. You've been pushing me away so much and I don't know what I did wrong."

Phil looks down at his hands and wrings them slowly. "Dan, you didn't...you didn't DO anything. I just...I don't like to talk about it okay?" he feel a tightness in his chest grow. "Look, I think I'm going to just go to sleep, I'm tired."

Dan looks down in disappointment that Phil won't let him help. "Yeah...okay, Kitten." He starts to slowly get up, when Phil takes his arms and pulls him back down on the bed and smashes his lips against Dan's.

Dan's eyes widen for a moment out of surprise before they slip closed and the kiss deepens. His hand goes to the back of Phil's neck and slides through his hair. Their mouths open and then their tongues fight for dominance. Dan wins almost immediately. He pushes Phil back more onto the bed and Phil's arms slip around Dan's waist. Dan forces himself to pull away.

A smirk on his face, he gets up off the bed. "Night, Kitten." he says before walking out of Phil's room and closing the door.


End file.
